Easy come...easy go

Chapter eight:

"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions."

After my incredible time with Mr. Yummy I spend some time alone. I slowed down for a while, started thinking about love and monogamous relationships. I remember thinking about it...how every night I was laying my head on the pillow, staring in void, dreaming about a man that loves me for who and what I am, about a true and sincere relationship. Well that started to be depressing so in no time I found myself back by the side of Mr. Horny...He was a drug for me, the morphine I needed in those times. I was addicted, it was clear as daylight! When I was staring in his eyes I felt safe, loved and appreciated. Like I told you in chapter four, I knew I was in love with him, but I also knew that he couldn't be mine. Those were my final months by his side. I knew things would change, but I didn't expect that result!

In the meantime it looked like I was starting a friendship with an old acquaintance. We first met five years ago at his workplace but since then we didn't get the opportunity to get to know each other properly. 

We talked on the phone several times, and then we exchanged IDs and started to talk on the messenger. I was having fun, real, good, extremely needed fun! I was enjoying myself, and I decided to ask him over for drinks. That night I felt a bunch of butterflies in my stomach, a feeling that I almost forgot about. It was fresh, wild and dazzling. My appetite was growing, I couldn't get enough, so I asked for more... Nights passed by and I was lost in his arms. Mr. Wild was what I needed, when I needed, almost how I needed! He raised some darn good questions for a few nights in a row, but that nearly drove me crazy...

My appetite was higher then ever and I wanted more but the problem was I could have Mr. Wild only at night...So, for one day I decided to invite Mr. Horny over, so we can raise some questions together...

In that period my brain was functioning after a really good quote: 

~~~~~~~~~~"Women are for friendships, men are for fucking."~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually those days were behind me but that damn answer still haunted me! I was deserving it, I knew from the start I was deceiving myself, but it was my choice...I made my bed so I had to lay in it! I was praying I can make it with shreds and pieces...but I couldn't...I decided to put an end to my relationship with Mr. Horny and as for my relationship with Mr. Wild it deteriorated on its own. 

And after everything...I took a leap of faith...

"There are four questions of value in life...What is sacred?...Of what is the spirit made?... What is worth living for....What is worth dying for?......The answer to each is the same...Only love."

 End of part eight

xoxo